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Guarding angel

נוצר על ידי Guarding angel
ב כללי

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SerpentMage Zone Junkie

SerpentMage

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כבר ליקטתי אותם בדיון אחר, אבל מן הראוי שיהיו כאן (קריאה מהנה, המודגשים הם האהובים עלי ביותר):

1. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

3. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

4. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

5. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

6. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer

7. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

8. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

9. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

10. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

11. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

12. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.

13. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

14. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

15. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

16. There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

17. Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

18. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

19. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

20. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

21. Chuck Norris once bet he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re- entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

22. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

23. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

24. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

25. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

26. Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.

27. Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

28. Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

29. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

30. Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

31. Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

32. The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

33. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

34. Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.

35. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

36. There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

37. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

38. Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.

39. A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

40. When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

41. Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris

Roundhouse Kick)

42. If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

43. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

44. Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

45. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has

encountered Chuck Norris"

46. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

47. Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

48. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

49. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

50. Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

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GGuyZ Zone Master

GGuyZ

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עד היום לא ברור לי איך נוצר כזה רעש סביב צ'אק נוריס.

סרטי אקשן בכיכובו משעממים, והוא נראה כמו סתם רדנק ממוצע ששמור יחסית טוב לגילו.

אני יוודע שהוא נחשב מאוד בעולם אומנויות הלחימה, אך גם זה לא ממש ברור לי.

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The Dom Zone Junkie

The Dom

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

את זה לא הבנתי ואני רואה שכותבים את זה הרבה:

46. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

ותסבירו מה הקטע שלו עם גרמנים? כבר שמעתי כמה בדיחות

MC HAMMER הוא ראפר עם הייפ ענקי בזמנו. יש לו שיר שנקרא CANT TOUCH THIS וזה היה להיט ענק:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=EMzoBkaFxh4

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HF Integrale Zone Addict

HF Integrale

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אתה מתכוון אולי ל:

צ'אק נוריס יכול להרכיב קוביה הונגרית בבעיטה סיבובית

מודה, זה גם מצחיק.

אבל הרעיון שלי התבסס על העובדה שצריך לפחות 50 תימרונים כדי להרכיב קוביה הונגרית (טרופה היטב).

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