http://www.boardofwisdom.com/default.asp?topic=1005&start=1&search=&listowner=Public&listname=Geek

אוקי אני מודה! אני חנון מחשבים!

WTF?

אהבתי את זה :

My pokemon bring all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard.

זה כמובן דומה לפזמון של KELIS בשיר- MILKSHAKE

אהבתי! יאללה לחתימה.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

כמו ש-un | que אמר..לחתימה

Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips."

JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!

MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX

ROFL ;D

------Jocks vs Nerds----

Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.

If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.

If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.

If he decides to have a 5-minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.

He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.

He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.

If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.

If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.

He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.

Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.

If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.

He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.

While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.

This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined. Amazing isn't it?

However...

If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.

$$$ Game over. Nerd wins.

http://www.boardofwisdom.com/default.asp?topic=1005&start=1&search=&listowner=Public&listname=Geek

Bookmarked.

כמה אהובים אליי:

The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX.

I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code

People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows.

Passwords are like underwear. You shouldnt leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldnt loan them out to strangers.

Use The Best...

Linux for Servers

Mac for Graphics

Palm for Mobility

Windows for Solitaire

JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!

MICROSOFT = Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

Windows has detected you do not have a keyboard. Press 'F9" to continue.

A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?

יש שם המון דברים קצרים ומצחיקים, אבל יש את זה - שזה פשוט גאוני:

Genesis Take Two

1. In the beginning GOD created the Bit and the Byte. And from

those he created the Word.

2. And there were two Bytes in the Word; and nothing else existed.

And God separated the One from the Zero; and he saw it was

good.

3. And God said - Let the Data be; And so it happened.

And God said - Let the Data go to their proper places.

And he created floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.

4. And God said - Let the computers be, so there would be a place

to put floppy disks and hard disks and compact disks.

Thus God created computers and called them hardware.

5. And there was no Software yet. But God created programs; small

and big... And told them - Go and multiply yourselves and fill

all the Memory.

6. And God said -I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer

will make new programs and govern over the computers and

programs and Data.

7. And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data Center;

And God showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said

You can use all the volumes and subvolumes but DO NOT USE

Windows.

8. And God said - It is not Good for the programmer to be alone.

He took a bone from the Programmer's body and created a

creature that would look up at the Programmer; and admire

the Programmer; and love the things the Programmer does;

And God called the creature: the User.

9. And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS

and it was Good.

10. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God.

And Bill said to the User - Did God really tell you not to

run any programs ?

11. And the User answered - God told us that we can use every

program and every piece of Data but told us not to run Windows

or we will die.

12. And Bill said to the User - How can you talk about something

you did not even try. The moment you run Windows you will

become equal to God. You will be able to create anything you

like by a simple click of your mouse.

13. And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and

easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless

- since Windows could replace it.

14. So the User installed the Windows on his computer; and said to

the Programmers that it was good.

15. And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers.

And God asked him - What are you looking for? And the

Programmer answered - I am looking for new drivers because I

can not find them in the DOS. And God said - Who told you need

drivers? Did you run Windows?

And the Programmer said - It was Bill who told us to !

16. And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated

by all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you.

And you will always sell Windows.

17. And God said to the User - Because of what you did, the Windows

will disappoint you and eat up all your Resources; and you will

have to use lousy programs; and you will always rely on the

Programmers help.

18. And God said to the Programmer - Because you listened to the

User you will never be happy. All your programs will have errors

and you will have to fix them and fix them to the end of time.

19. And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door

and secured it with a password.

20. GENERAL PROTECTION FAULT

שנייה אנ יושב לקרוא...חחחח

זה ישן..

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.

זה by far הדבר הכי מצחיק כאן:

A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?

:lol: פשוט ענק!

הנה אחד מהקלאסיקות הגדולות:

Windows has detected you do not have a keyboard. Press 'F9" to continue.

Alert! User Error. Please replace user and press any key to continue.

^^ :lol:

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features

.

והקלאסי-

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, HuntingAndFishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks ...Troubled User

-------

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 installed and work on improving the configuration. I suggest installing the background application YesDear 99.0 to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to do this before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as CleanAndSweep 3.0, CookIt 1.5 and DoBills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0, but beware because sometimes these applications can be expensive.

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

WARNING!!! Attempting to install NewGirlFriend 8.8 along with Wife 1.0 will crash the system.

(see Wife 1.0 manual, Apologize, High Maintenance & Secretary with Short Skirt)

ה-Wife 1.0 היה פשוט נפלא, אחד המצחיקים!

אם הייתי יכול - ישר הייתי שם את זה בחתימה

גדול...

-ג'ו